I am going to share with you today the first of twelve “stones” that I have established in my life to help me remember what the Lord has done to guide me to TRUE HOPE.
Looking back, I remember some fun, good and exciting memories like my 13th birthday party, graduating high school – “Go Broncos!”, and moving out of my parent’s home. Other memories carry a bitter after taste like losing my dog Nosie, being singled out because I was from “the wrong side of the tracks”, and finding out that a friend moved away and I would never see her again. Although we all want to remember and share fun times, I want to share with you about my cousin Toby, or as I called him “Bug”.
Bug was one year older than me and although we could not see each other often – when we did it was a blast. As kids we played all the usual games, catch, running around the yard, playing on the swings, but I think some of the best times were when we played Superman and Wonder Woman… goofy right?
As the years passed our time together lessened but, we kept in touch by sending Christmas cards and presents. Bug and I just knew that we were friends, even though we did not see each other very often. I always knew Bug would be there for me. As time and fate would have it, Bug, or Toby as he now wanted to be called, and I would be going to the same High School. I was shy and very nervous about my first year in High School. Somehow, I found a comfort in knowing I knew at least one person there, Toby. It was great getting to know him again, passing him in the hallways and eating lunch together once in a while made me fill safe. Toby had his friends and I had mine, but I knew I could always count on him if needed.
After graduating, we both lost touch of each other, again. I moved out of my parents’ home and into an apartment with a friend. One Sunday morning in July 1988. the phone rang…It was my mom. She sadly told me that Toby had died the night before in a car accident. His truck went into a ditch and he had been crushed by the steering wheel.
At that moment…all things seemed to stop…Toby was dead.
Before that moment, I had never really thought much about death. I was 18 years old and had a whole life to live…or so I thought…I am sure that Toby thought that, too.
Then next few days were a mixture of tears and truthfully fear…what if that happened to me? What really happens when you die? Is there a Hell? Is there a Heaven? How do I know if I am good enough to go to Heaven?
This was the first time in my life I actually felt lost. I remember praying Lord help me know the truth, please show me there is hope.
Now 35 years later I can claim Proverbs 2:3-5
Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
My first stone… Death
