- What is Diligence
Dear What is Diligence,
I want to start this letter by asking you, what distracts you in life? It could be anything: a movie, the boy you like who lives two houses down the road, social media, or simply your own thoughts. Whatever it is, does it distract you to the point where you don’t think about God?
1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
Being undistracted means being able to concentrate FULLY on something.
Watching a movie once in a while is not bad. Wondering about a future relationship is not bad, when guided by God. And thinking is something that you have to do simply to function, but remember what or how are you thinking is important.
Now, what about unrelenting? which means not yielding in strength, severity, or determination.
Are you making sure that you are not being distracted from God in an unrelenting way? This is being diligent in your personal walk with the Lord in all that you do. As a lady looking to serve God diligently, you need to embody (fully commit to live) these two facets of the word diligence – undistracted and unrelenting.
Does 1 Corinthians 15:58 describe your attitude and approach to using your free time for Jesus? Diligence affects every aspect of our service and ministry for the Lord.
All those possible distractions are not bad things, but they can become a hindrance to your spiritual life if not kept in their correct place. You have to determine how diligent – undistracted and unrelenting – you want to be for Christ in your personal life. I can’t make that choice for you. Think about it, pray about it, and maybe seek council from someone with more experience if you need guidance.
It will be worth every missed movie, possible relationship, or think session.
Signing off,
Tami - One Day is Today
Dear One Day is Today,
So, excluding a relationship, is there any other dreams you have for yourself? Like maybe going on a missions trip your church is hosting, going to a specific college, starting a new ministry at church, or maybe learning a new hobby? Any of these are possible at any point in life, but… they would be so much easier while you are unmarried or don’t have kids to watch over.
Singleness is an inevitable condition. So why not use that time to fulfill some of your other dreams wholeheartedly rather than wasting your time waiting for a relationship.
I can’t tell you how many nights I wasted watching chick flicks and dramas wishing that the main girl was me and I was ending up with the handsome lead male character. I didn’t realize until it was too late the amount of priceless free time I wasted.
Too many young women waist valuable years as they wait for “life to begin” at the start of a relationship. This is not to say that a woman can’t pursue her other dreams after she is married, but she will have a much higher price to pay and often the pursued dream turns into a nightmare!
If you love serving Jesus, please don’t waste your free time or consider yourself too unhappy to help anyone else. Thinking that way is the start of self-centeredness which will rob you of the joy of serving. Satan wants nothing more than you to continue dreaming about how “one day” you will get involved in ministry. He likes to distract young women, and men, from making lasting investments in themselves during their singleness.
Look for the opportunities that God is placing in front of you today, like that missions trip you have been wanting to take or that hobby that looks like fun. Learn today how to use your free time for what Jesus wants rather than wasting your time on what may come “one day.”
As a married woman, I regret missing so many great opportunities as a single, which I now have no time to pursue. I wish I had someone to encourage and show me how to use my single time wisely.
Don’t wait for “one day”, make it today to start your life.
Until next time,
Tami - Abundant Life
Dear Abundant Life,
Have you ever walked into a single person’s apartment and wonder where the furniture was? Or maybe see the lack of kitchenware? Or possibly wonder why they had no pictures on their walls? Or my favorite, think to yourself, “Did they just move in?” because it doesn’t even look like someone was living there?
These are all things that single girls, and guys, can do when they don’t invest in themselves. There are many reasons why young people allow themselves to live this way, but a big one, especially for single women, is because they can’t imagine satisfaction in life without being married. They are so caught up in the lack of a boyfriend or girlfriend that they forget to enjoy the simple pleasures in life now. Their dream chests remain closed and China never gets used because they believe they must be saved for the day she can share them with her true love.
No! We can enjoy them now. Don’t make minimal investment in what you hope is a temporary condition, but rather find satisfaction in where you are right now.
Life is satisfying only when we diligently serve the Lord, no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in right now. God wants us to invest in ourselves as singles and live a full life. Not surviving on paper plates and plasticware. He wants you to find those things that will not only bring you joy when you are married, but that you can also use and enjoy as a single. So take out that china that was handed down to you by your mother or grandmother, buy that chair you have been eyeing every time you go to the store, and actually live in your apartment, by hanging up some pictures and cooking in your own kitchen.
John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
The only one that is stealing from your life’s happiness is you. Abundant life is not only for married women. It is for you as a single as well.
What is a way today that you can start living a more abundant life for yourself?
Until next time,
Tami - Intimidated Soul
Dear Intimidated Soul,
God is not intimidated by your trauma.
Honestly, I could end this letter with that simple sentence, but I want you to fully understand what it means. No matter what you are going through or have been through, God is not scared away by it.
Women, Christian women, can allow their broken hearts to stop their lives. A death in the family, a broken relationship, a divorce, or even the lack of being unable to conceive a child, have in the past stopped godly women from being successful in their daily walk with the Lord. Betrayal by a friend or even a cheating husband can cause a woman to doubt herself and her worthiness of serving God.
Why is this?
It is because instead of taking that situation to the Lord, we wallow in it, obsessing over every little detail, and always landing on the idea that it was our fault. No! God wants to help. He doesn’t want you to obsess over something that you can no longer change. He wants to mend your broken heart, but… we first have to give it to him.
When we do this, Jesus can teach us to resist feeling sorry for ourselves and stop living in bitterness for those who have wronged us. Then we can start being transformed into a fearless servant of the Lord.
You never know God may even be able to use you in a way you never expect, after you have given your heart to him. So don’t put your life on hold because you are intimidated by your own trauma. Don’t make excuses not to bring them to God.
For many years, I allowed my past traumas to keep me from doing certain things for the Lord. Watching my family slowly fall apart for years kept me from looking or even desiring a personal relationship, not just with a guy, but also with other women. Harsh comments from those in authority in my past church, taught me that I was unworthy and would never be successful in my faith. The trauma from all these situations and more, built a wall of fear and bitterness in my heart.
But when I finally decided to give my heart and life to God, many years later, He slowly broke down that wall and showed me that through Him my heart can be mended. I can also be useful to his ministry, like in writing these letters.
I know it is hard and a little scary, but going to the Lord with your intimidating traumas will always be the best choice. Go to him in prayer today and ask him to mend your broken hearts. Ask for him to show you how not to allow your past trauma keep you from a successful Christian walk. He will answer. It might be subtle, but he never will leave you, if you truly want to change.
Until next time,
Tami - A Cross to Bear
Dear A Cross to Bear,
Too often we as women have to find a reason why something hasn’t happened yet. We tell ourselves that God must have a more “noble purpose” for us – a cross to bear before he brings us our dream, whatever that may be. Now, I am not only talking about desiring/dreaming of a relationship, but rather everything that you could ever desire or hope for in your life.
Not receiving your dream does not mean God has something more noble for you to do. This is a selfish way of thinking. It is putting yourself above/before anyone or anything else. Instead of looking at what you do have, it is focusing completely on what you don’t.
There are many reasons why God may not provide you with your dream. Some of the reasons you may eventually begin to see and understand, but others, God may never reveal to you. It is not our job to know all the ins-and-outs of why God decides to do or not do something.
There are so many times in my personal life when I never understood why God allowed something to not come into my life. Then there were times that only after many years did, I finally understand why He didn’t work things out according to my plans or present desires. For instance, my marriage.
At the moment when boys no longer were gross, I desired a relationship. I didn’t fully understand all that went into someone liking me, but it sounded wonderful. But me starting a relationship at that time wasn’t in God’s plans. At times, I did wonder if God has some amazing thing, he desired me to do first, like a mission’s trip, our help out with Sunday school, or even volunteer for evangelizing.
This way of thinking only caused me extra confusion. I began searching for that “noble thing” that God wanted me to do, but I never found it. I did get involved in a lot of good ministries, but none of them gave me the same joy that I later discovered in simply getting to know my Lord in a more personal way. I am very lucky that I had a loving mother that helped me adjust how I was thinking. Without her wise guidance, who knows how many years I could have been searching to no avail.
When I finally stopped being selfish – because I was – that is when God guided me to my future husband. It took many years, a whole lot of character growth, and even changing locations for my dream to finally come true. But I first had to give my dream to God, focus on relationship with Him, and trust that He would take care of me in the best way he knew (even if that meant I may have never gotten married.)
So, don’t start thinking selfishly when your dreams don’t seem to be happening when you want. But rather trust God and focus on now you are using your time to build your relationship with God, Himself.
Signing off,
Tami
Dear Young Lady,
I am so excited that you found me here in Love Letters. This is a safe place where you can come learn and hopefully be encouraged as you grow through probably one of the most challenging times of your life.
Growing up is full of new experiences that can be life-changing and sometimes scary, but don’t worry too much. I am going to be here to answer questions and show you through my personal experiences what I have learned and how everything will be ok. You are not the only one who is going through what you are feeling or thinking. It may surprise you to know that many women before you and many more after you have or will all go through it just like you. The key is to seek help and ask questions from the right places and people.
I know every girl is wondering and imagining about their future, probably with vivid pictures and dreams. In these letters, we will address some of the “big questions”, like how or when will you find the perfect boyfriend, how to know where you are supposed to live or go to college, and so many more. But we are also going to learn, at the same time, what God says about our future relationships and purposes.
There will be times that you will not like what I have to say or what God desires for your life, but… All I ask is that you wait a day or two before reacting. Pray about it and maybe talk to someone you trust who is a sound spiritual leader. I am not going to pretend that I have all the answers because I don’t. All I can do is show you how, with God’s help, I got through a time in my life that could have been the most discouraging and confusing.
To start off these letters, I am going to give you 10 points that we will discuss and hopefully learn to become a godly woman. These points are the key to finding success in every area of our young Christian lives.
1. She recklessly abandons herself to the Lordship of Christ
2. Diligently uses her single days
3. Trust God with unwavering faith
4. Demonstrates virtue in daily life
5. Loves God with undistracted devotion
6. Stands for physical and emotional purity
7. Lives in security
8. Responds to life with contentment
9. Makes choices based on her convictions
10. Waits patiently for God to meet her needs
Don’t try to understand right away what each of these means. They may sound straightforward, but we are going to really dig in and find out some amazing truths that will forever guide your life if you let them.
Again I am so excited that you chose to join me on this new adventure.
Signing off,
Tami