Dear Lady in the Mirror,
As a teen, friends are a huge part of your life. They are the ones you depend upon during the hard times and the ones that are always there for the good times as well. But what most teens don’t know or fully understand that you, as an individual, mirror those that you call friend. That means that you start acting like those you hang around. So… The question, I have for you is, “What type of people are you hanging around and calling friends?”
You may be thinking that it doesn’t really matter when you are young who you hang out with, because most likely you won’t all be together forever, so why not just have fun? And you would be right, except everything and everyone around you when you are developing and forming your character shapes your decisions and future.
As Christian teens, being aware of how people affect you and shape you helps you to understand the importance of picking the right type of friends. Are your friends encouraging you in your zeal and commitment to God while you are single, or are they constantly pulling your focus to the cute boys or your lack of dates on Friday nights? Your friends will either guide you towards God and your spiritual walk with Him, or towards your fleshly focus of having fun or finding that perfect boyfriend. If your “friends” are not leading you toward God, then maybe you need to find a “new people” like Ruth did.
Ruth had to leave all her old friends and family in order to follow after God. She knew that if she stayed in Moab that she would be surrounded by people of different beliefs that could influence her in a way that went directly against God. She had to find a whole “new people” in order to seek God in the way she wanted, in reckless abandonment.
Now, finding new friends is not easy, nor is letting go of the old ones, especially if they are in your church. Often the choice for a deeper commitment to God produces resentment from people that were once such good friends. Someone you were once so close with may seem distant when you strive to get closer to God. These friends are not always in sin, but just not wanting to make the sacrifices necessary to serve God fully. Or not willing to open up to learning and growing inwardly, knowing it will make them different and maybe uncomfortable. This is not saying you have to stop all relationships with people who have not broken their alabaster boxes at the feet of Jesus. Just consider the ultimate influence your friends have on your commitment to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
Personally, I have had to let go of a lot of people/friends from my past. Friends that made decisions that I could not go along with or follow. I knew in my heart and mind that if I allowed them to stay in my life, that I would not be as effective in my teen and adult life. My best friend in elementary school, my high school and college best friend, and even my first friend that I hung out with when I moved states, they all became friends of the past when I noticed they didn’t want the same things that I did in my faith. But… In letting them go, I was able to find godly friends that encourage me in my spiritual growth. I even met my husband through one of those friends.
I still think about all those girls, who are now young women, and pray that God gets a hold of their hearts and leads them back to him. Ultimately, we need to follow God’s guidance for our lives, whither that is to a new state or finding a “new people.” If we want to grow in him, we will obey even if it causes us some pain or sadness.
The Christian life is a choice that sometimes requires sacrifice. What are you willing to do to follow God in reckless abandonment today?
Signing off,
Tami