I am looking at this post and I can’t seem to find the words. Looking back at my life has always been a struggle for me. My childhood, teen years, and even college years all have a lot of hard memories tied to them. I guess you can say that my baggage car is full of sorrow, pain, broken promises, and abuse.

These are typically things that any one wants to remember, but we hold onto them, like letting them go makes us into… nothing.

When I researched train baggage cars, I learned that it typically is located at the rear of the train so it can be removed at the right station quickly. That is because usually the baggage car doubled as the railway post office (RPO) and because the mail was expedited freight that earned railroads high profit it needed to be switched out and/or delivered as quickly as possible.

So, why can’t we allow our hard, painful baggage be removed just like those RPO cars? For me, those hard times took up such a majority of my life that it seems that it is all I know. Those things in my past have shaped me into who I am, so letting go seems impossible.

It took me a long time to come to the realization that letting them go doesn’t change who I am, but rather it helps me to no longer be controlled by them. For years, I have allowed those memories to determine what I do, how I think, and who I can talk to.

What do I mean?

As a teen, I was told that I would never amount to anything. So, now as an adult, I often struggle with the idea that I am capable and worthy of being successful. Because of being told that I would never be successful, I always pushed myself far beyond expectations to prove that I wasn’t nothing. I graduated college in 4 1/2 years with three bachelor degrees and almost a minor, that they never acknowledged. At that point, I realized that no matter what I did, I would never reach their expectation because I didn’t fit into their mold of what they thought a Christian girl should look and be like. I am now turning 33 and I run my own business.

Again, in my teens and early years of college, my family was going through a lot of struggles. In truth it was falling apart. My parents were on the verge of divorce and I was being forced to decide who I wanted to live with, which meant I had to decide who I loved more.  Seeing my parents’ relationship and hearing all the complaining about each other really caused me to doubt myself and my abilities in my own marriage. Even though my husband always reassures me that I am a good wife, it is still hard for me to believe it at times, because of the lack of harmony my parents showed in their relationship and the amount of negativity that was always pointed at me.

Both of these memories and many more have affected my thoughts and dreams for far too many years. It took a lot for me to accept that I am able to be a good wife, that I am capable of being successful in business, that I can be used of God, and that I don’t have to fit into the expectations set by others. God brought me through those things for a reason, but He never intended for me to hold onto them or let them control me. He wants me to let the heavy baggage be removed from my train of life, so that I can have a smoother and easier path.

Those things are only holding us back from the things he wants to introduce into our lives. Not all memories are bad, but letting any memory control us is bad.

I think it is time that we let that bad memory baggage go, so that we can fill a new car with wonderful things that can help us in our futures. So, at your next stop, let your conductor remove that car from your life.